November 14, 2013

Isn't it ironic?

After I have been well for several years, I am so optimistic that I won't ever get sick again.

Then I start writing posts like Put Me On The Crazy List, saying I should never be able to purchase a gun.  I tell my friend that he should never give me the guns he keeps safe for me. 

I look at the pills I have hoarded, and I think, "I'll never want to use these!  And just to be safe, I'll get rid of them."  So down the toilet they go.  (Yes, I do know that's not the proper way to dispose of them, but it's best to just do it while I'm in the mood to flush them.)

Ah, but then I get sick again.

I yearn for a gun; it would be so quick that way.  But I don't even have the energy to go buy one.  And my friend certainly won't give me one.  I don't want to talk to anyone anyway, so I wouldn't even call him.

And I yearn for multiple bottles of pills.  To just go to sleep forever.  Why was I so certain I'd never want them?  And my doctor sure as hell won't prescribe a bunch of them for me now.   

Alanis says it perfectly:

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

Yes, Alanis, it is ironic.

No comments:

Post a Comment