If you are dealing with a depressed person, you might be pretty frustrated and irritated.
At least that's how I felt when my mother was depressed. I was so frustrated that I wanted to just shake some sense into her. That was before I knew Major Depression myself.
Please realize that the depressed person's brain is not functioning properly. Let that be your fallback thought when you get frustrated, "He's not trying to frustrate me on purpose, his brain isn't working right."
Here are some things that you should probably not say. These comments will not help your friend or family member. In fact, they may make him feel worse.
"What are you depressed about?”
“You have so much to live for! Why would you be depressed ?”
The person likely knows if he has good things in his life.
If you remind him of this, you'll make him feel guilty for being depressed because he "should" be happy. it will just add guilt to his depression.
Just don't ask this, either.
“Just don’t think about it.”
“Don’t say that. You don’t mean that.”
“I know how you feel.”
“C'mon! Just cheer up!”
He can't. He would if he could.This is like telling a diabetic, “C'mon! Just change your blood sugar!”
"Don't feel that way!"
They're his emotions; allow him to own them. In his mind, his thoughts are perfectly reasonable.
You might say, "I don't agree with that," or "I wish you didn't feel that way."
"I'm worried about you."
Worry doesn't help anyone. And it makes it sound like he's responsible for your feelings. He is not. You are.
Just tell him you care about him.
"You just need to (take this vitamin, eat this fruit, do this exercise, go to this doctor, read this book, think this way, blah, blah, blah.)"
If he is seeing a doctor, let the doctor do her job. If not, encourage him to go to his primary care provider. Offer to go with him if he wants you to, but don't insist on it.
"You're just doing this to get attention."
If you say this, you are telling him that what he is feeling is unimportant and frivolous.
Especially if the person sounds like he wants to kill himself, take him seriously. Call your local crisis services.